18 with a minor addiction to cheesecake. I reblog anything I find funny or cute & I still have no idea how to make a page for my tagged personal stuff so I've linked my instagram below instead (sorry).

Have a cheesecake.

allthestarsonyourceiling:

Last night I went to Starbucks and when the guy finished my drink, he bent down and wispered, “Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.” I just smiled and took my drink, and while I was leaving I heard the other worker saying: “WOULD YOU STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR INSPERATIONAL SHIT!” and the guy responded with, “Gurl, there is no way in hell I am letting you dull my sparkle.” 

Oh my god. 

(Source: itsthethoughtofyou, via ticktock-timelord)

lord-kitschener:

screw off, Taco, you shit in a box of gravel

(Source: mykingdomforapen, via heliolisk)

veracrossing:

This is my favorite leap year quote. 

veracrossing:

This is my favorite leap year quote. 

(via jesuschristvevo)

awwww-cute:

"Oh

awwww-cute:

"Oh

(via epic-humor)

distraction:

Holy fucking shit

(Source: zerostatereflex, via heliolisk)

Only a bad musician blames their instument My music teacher, when I said I couldn’t play because my recorder was broken. It was literally in two pieces. (via pandyssian)

(Source: kat-bots, via heliolisk)

Me:: Who's a good boy?

Dog:: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Me:: YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!

Dog:: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

quamraeros:

tomfletcherscats:

tomfletcherscats:

this is how u use tinder right

he came out of left field with this one


Marry him

quamraeros:

tomfletcherscats:

tomfletcherscats:

this is how u use tinder right

he came out of left field with this one

Marry him

(via thats-so-meme)

airyairyquitecontrary:

unhand me
lower me gently to the floor, then unhand me

airyairyquitecontrary:

unhand me

lower me gently to the floor, then unhand me

(via asuspiciouslookingperson)

kia-kaha-winchesters:

just the girly things

  • forcing an earing through a closed piercing
  • taking off tight clothes and rubbing the indents they left on your skin 
  • human sacrifice
  • homemade face masks 

(via legit-humour)

sunnyinwisconsin:


colossaltitan:

calypso53:

one of my favorite things about hiking is when i come across a strange structure deep in the woods and am left to wonder how and why and when

how: demons. why: demon portal. when: 5 pm demon time

it’s always 5pm demon time, somewhere

sunnyinwisconsin:

colossaltitan:

calypso53:

one of my favorite things about hiking is when i come across a strange structure deep in the woods and am left to wonder how and why and when

how: demons. why: demon portal. when: 5 pm demon time

it’s always 5pm demon time, somewhere

(Source: deadlords, via informercials)

meladoodle:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

the use of ‘dead’ as an adjective in this little anecdote is slightly concerning considering the fact that you’re stabbing him with a needle and taking his blood

(via iamthegreategyptian)

(Source: alxbngala, via zackisontumblr)

princekenkaneki:

lastoneout:

green-globbin:

thebest-memes:

"No matter how bad you fuck up at work, you didn’t fucked up this bad"

Oh my god. How do you even fix that

did he live?

free him

princekenkaneki:

lastoneout:

green-globbin:

thebest-memes:

"No matter how bad you fuck up at work, you didn’t fucked up this bad"

Oh my god. How do you even fix that

did he live?

free him

(via laugh-til-ya-fart)

rydenarmani:

i need to know how this story ends

(Source: twirpy, via asuspiciouslookingperson)

ETCETERA theme by Hrrrthrrr